This specific entry is really interesting to me. The woman who writes in is the victim of her father-in-law's uncomfortably long and close hugs. We all know exactly what she's talking about when she says that. There are certain kinds of hugs that are reserved for friends, certain hugs for family members and then there are the hugs that are only for our romantic partners. Everyone has had the unfortunate experience of being on either the giving or receiving end of the wrong kind of hug and most of us know it instantly. There are, however, a few people who seem to not notice or to not care when their hug falls outside of the prescribed norm for the relationship.
The letter writer in this column was determined to try and deal with the situation on her own. Interesting since the norm defiance seems so great, yet on the other hand, it was a personal issue and so the attempt was made to deal with it on her own. That effort was not effective and so, now all bets are off. She has called in support to ensure that the uncomfortable hugging comes to an end.
This, to me, correlates back to "Order Without Law". All of the understood norms about hugging that aren't actual laws that are written down anywhere, the attempt to solve the problem on a personal level first and then the escalation to outside assistance if the personal attempts fail. Interesting that this phenomenon is the same on a small familial scale as it is in Shasta County.
Ellickson, Robert C. (1991). Order without Law: How Neighbors Settle Disputes. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press.
Yoffe, Emily. (11.16.2009). "Must We Bear Hugs?" Dear Prudence Chat Room. (http://www.slate.com/id/2235822/)
Fantastic job on these posts -- you hit just the right notes as a sociological blogger. Smart comments well expressed. Don't drop it just because the semester is over.
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